“They will rebuild the ancient ruins, restore sites long destroyed; they will renew the ruined cities, destroyed many generations ago.”
“Why not rather be wronged?”
I Corinthians 6:7
It’s everywhere you look, really – in homes… between siblings and parents and children… you see it in spilled milk and dirty laundry and an unmade bed. You see it in the obvious places like arguments between spouses or in family debacles, police reports and jail cells, but it also lives in the covert, by the coffee maker in the work office or a hushed conversation between two friends … the occasional or not so occasional Facebook rant… you see it over and over again in opinions, in name calling, blogs, political speeches, movements, marches, protests, playgrounds, and you see it hidden yet present in the lone individual, exhausted... exhausted over fighting a past of trauma or maybe one of regret…
It’s everywhere you look, really – blame.
And since we’ve carried it with us for so long - since we’ve grown accustomed to the weight of having it around; it eventually, inevitably will become normal, our eyes adjust - chains mesh with flesh - and blame becomes a part of who we are rather than how we are enslaved.
And we blame ourselves. And we blame everyone but ourselves. And we blame The One who made us. And we live broken and sad and anxious and fearful.
But what if there’s another way?
What if it’s possible to live a life without blame? Without offense? Without any grievance at all?
When you think about it, how much of our lives are spent blaming? And I’m not only talking about the big blames – past trauma, incredible grief, betrayal, adultery, abuse – but even the hundreds of little blames that can add up within a week – your husband says something so insensitive it makes you wonder why you even got married, and then all of a sudden you’re thinking “well if he’d get it together, if he’d treat me better, if he’d just be a bit more like Jennie’s husband…” Your friend doesn’t invite you somewhere…, someone at church or work says something that’s a bit sarcastic and seems directed towards you, there’s a person that continues to gossip about your family falling apart, and then there’s the woman who was rude to you behind the check-out counter today for no reason at all…
Everyone it seems is looking to blame. It’s an easier road, I think, security to us –it makes sense – it makes us feel in control…
But what if it’s possible to live a life without it?
…from the person driving 30 mph in front of you that just makes you want to scream, to your mom who always seems to cut you down to size with her words to the person who is chewing with their mouth open, to the man who took advantage of you years ago, to the spouse who betrayed you, to the friend who stabbed you in the back…
Is it really, truly possible to live a life without blame?
I think so.
And it’s the only way to rebuild.
I’ve found the free people – the people who know who they are – the people living in shalom and wholeness and rest – the people who believe what God says about them –
Those people started rebuilding their lives out of a place of surrender.
And a place of surrender will always be a place of no blame.
Here’s a new kind of definition for you…
Complete surrender is a place of no blame.
It’s a narrow way – I get that. And few find it.
But it’s God’s absolute best.
What would a life look like – what would your life look like - to not take any offense at what was done to you? EVER?
To live a life of no blame… realizing your past, your wounds, your hurt, your baggage… have no power over you… only the power you’ve given it - and that no one and no thing could ever hurt you in the first place cause you’ve always been
Safe in your Father’s arms.
AND when you’re safe - you know - in this moment and every moment before and every moment after - that you are seen and you are known by a good GOD whose plans and purposes are bigger than anything that has ever happened to you.
AND there may very well be chaos all around you - inside you - inside your heart a bunch of ruins - plans and dreams and hopes seemingly destroyed - places of devastation in your mind - your home -
AND life is not like it should be -
A place of freedom will always be a place of surrender and a place of surrender will always be a place of no blame.
AND The most powerful thing happens when you relinquish your grip – your hold – your need to be right – the most powerful thing happens when you open your hands – letting go of all the weight- of all the blame – and say
“Why not rather be wronged?”
Rebuilding begins no other way.
AND Jesus cups your face in His hands and says, “Let there be Light!”
I give today to You.
I surrender my preconceived notions of how I think this day is going to go or should go.
I surrender my grip - my control - my expectations.
I trade them in for Yours.
Today I forgive sin by letting go of any offense.
Today I will live a life of no grievance - of no blame,
And I will lay it at Your feet again and again and again if need be.
Today I know - I am enough. And I will always be enough. And I rest in that Truth.
And I will rise up in my GOD-given calling and giftings and be the woman You’ve called me to be.